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HOW TO CREATE TALLOW CANDELS WITH ESSENTIAL OILS

Tallow, a natural byproduct of rendering animal fat, offers a clean, long-lasting burn and a unique aesthetic. By infusing these candles with your favorite essential oils, you can create personalized fragrances that promote relaxation, focus, or simply enhance your ambiance. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the simple steps of creating your own tallow candles, from selecting the right materials to blending essential oils.

How to make tallow candles with essential oils

Candles have a unique way of transforming any space into a relaxing haven. Whether I’m preparing a meal, working at my computer, or indulging in a spa day at home, I love lighting a candle to set the mood.

There’s just something about the calming atmosphere candles create – they’re a staple in my home. And even during the seasons when I don’t burn them as often, they’re always handy in case of a power outage.

Living naturally often means letting go of your favorite commercial candles. But with this easy tallow candle recipe with essential oils, you can make your own toxin-free candles at home! It’s simpler than you think.

Ready to create your own chemical-free candles? Keep reading to learn how…

What are tallow candles?

Tallow candles are made from tallow, an age-old ingredient used in candle-making for thousands of years. Unlike modern commercial candles, which can release harmful toxins into the air, tallow candles provide a healthier, natural alternative.

Many people aren’t aware, but commercial candles often contain toxic chemicals that, when burned, release harmful fumes into the air, affecting the health of you and your family (source). To maintain a chemical-free home, I choose to use only pure, high-quality candles made from tallow—one of my favorite ingredients.

Tips in making tallow candles with essential oils

Making candles doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. With this simple recipe, you can easily create dozens of tallow candles in just a few minutes.

Here are some helpful tips for making the best tallow candles:

  • Scenting your candles: Adding fragrance is totally up to you. If you’re making candles purely for decoration or light, you may want to skip fragrances altogether. If you’d like to add a scent, be sure to use only pure, natural essential oils. I recommend essential oils from trusted brands like Plant Therapy for the best quality.
  • Lubricating your molds: Before pouring in the tallow, remember to lubricate the candle molds with an oil such as coconut or olive oil. This ensures the candles come out smoothly once they’re set.
  • Choosing the right wick: It’s important to choose the right wick for your candles. Look for organic cotton wicks that are coated with beeswax, if possible. Some commercial wicks contain chemicals, so be mindful of what you use. My personal favorite are beeswax-coated organic cotton wicks.
  • Extra candles for gifting: I always make a few extra candles to have on hand as last-minute gifts. They’re perfect for hostess gifts or adding to a holiday gift basket.

Now that you’ve got my top tips, keep reading for step-by-step instructions to make your own tallow candles!

How to make tallow candles with essential oils

Making tallow candles with essential oils is one of my favorite activities. Not only do they help create a peaceful environment, but making them is also a fun and easy craft that you can complete in just an afternoon. Here’s how you can make your own:

INGREDIENTS:

  • Grass-fed beef tallow (from leaf fat; soft tallow from trim fat won’t be hard enough)
  • Essential oils (60 drops per cup of tallow)
  • Coconut oil or olive oil (to help with pouring consistency)
  • Wicks (cotton wicks are a great choice)
  • Glass jar or candle mold (for shaping your candles)

GLASS JAR CANDLE INSTRUCTIONS:

  • Melt the tallow: Gently heat the pure tallow in a saucepan until it turns into a liquid. Be sure to do this on low heat to avoid burning it.
  • Cool the tallow: Allow the melted tallow to cool down a bit, but don’t let it solidify yet.
  • Add essential oils: Once the tallow has cooled slightly, add 60 drops of essential oils per cup of tallow. Stir well to ensure the oils are fully mixed in.
  • Prepare the wick: Secure the wick by placing a clothespin on the top of the glass jar, letting the wick hang down into the center of the jar.
  • Pour the tallow mixture: Carefully pour the tallow mixture into the glass jar, making sure not to disturb the wick. Leave some space at the top of the jar.
  • Let it cool: Allow the candle to set and cool at room temperature for several hours or overnight.
  • Trim the wick: Once the candle has fully solidified, trim the wick to about 1/4 inch above the surface of the tallow.
  • Light and enjoy: Your candle is now ready to be lit and enjoyed!

PILLAR JAR CANDLE INSTRUCTIONS:

  • Lubricate the mold: Use coconut or olive oil to lightly lubricate the inside of the candle mold. This will help you remove the candle once it’s solidified.
  • Thread the wick: String the wick through the center of the candle mold, leaving extra length to trim later. Use a clothespin to hold the wick upright at the top of the mold.
  • Leave space at the tip: When pouring the tallow, leave some space at the tip of the mold to allow room for any expansion.
  • Pour the tallow mixture: Pour the liquid tallow into the mold, filling it up to your desired height.
  • Let it set: Allow the candle to cool and solidify at room temperature.
  • Remove the candle: Once the candle is completely solid, carefully remove it from the mold. Trim the wick to your desired length.
  • Light and enjoy: Your pillar candle is ready to be lit and will provide a cozy, relaxing atmosphere.

What supplies do you need for candle making?

Surprisingly enough, making your own tallow candles doesn’t require a lot of equipment. When using tallow, you can easily melt it on your stove and start crafting right away. Here’s a quick list of the supplies you’ll need:

SUPPLIES FOR TALLOW CANDLES

  • Glass jars (Make sure they are thick, like mason jars, to prevent the glass from shattering due to heat)
  • Natural wick (Cotton or beeswax-coated wicks are great)
  • Essential oils (Choose your favorite natural oils to scent the candle)
  • Clothespin (To hold the wick in place while the candle sets)
  • Candle mold (If you’re making pillar candles, here’s a great option for that)

MELTING THE TALLOW

The most time-consuming part of the entire candle-making process is melting the tallow. You’ll want to heat it gently on the stove over low heat, as it can take some time to fully melt, depending on the amount you’re using. But don’t worry — once it’s melted, the rest of the process is quick and easy!

Keep reading to learn more about the step-by-step process for melting tallow and making your own candles!

How long does it take to melt tallow?

Tallow is the hard fat found around the organs of animals, and it has countless uses, making it one of my favorite ingredients for a natural living lifestyle. Beyond making candles, you can use tallow in cooking, such as for frying or baking pie crusts, or even for crafting projects like the homemade candles featured in this article.

If you want to make your own tallow, it’s easy to render it using just a crock pot! Rendering tallow at home typically takes several hours, depending on how much you’re melting. For example, it takes about 5-6 hours to fully melt around 4 quarts of tallow. This method is simple and efficient, and it ensures you’re getting pure, high-quality tallow for all your DIY projects.

How much tallow should you melt?

When it comes to rendering tallow, I like to melt as much as I can — or as much as my crock pot will hold. That way, I can make my candles in batches and have some extra tallow for other projects or even gifts.

Tallow is incredibly versatile, and there are so many ways to use it beyond making candles. Here are a few ideas for utilizing your tallow:

  • Make skincare products: Tallow is fantastic for creating nourishing lotions, balms, and soaps. (Check out this complete guide to tallow skincare for more details.)
  • Season your cast iron skillets: Use tallow to season your cast iron cookware, giving it a non-stick surface and helping it last longer.
  • Cook with it: Tallow has a high smoke point, making it great for frying, sautéing, or baking.
  • Condition leather: Tallow works wonders as a leather conditioner, keeping your leather goods supple and protected.

Honestly, if I had to choose one thing to take with me to a deserted island, tallow would definitely be on the list. It’s just that useful!

What are the best essential oils to add in a tallow candle?

One of the things I truly love about candles is how the right scent can completely transform the atmosphere of a room. Here are a few of my favorite scents for my homemade candles:

  • Lavender: A calming and soothing fragrance, perfect for relaxation.
  • Chamomile: A gentle, floral aroma that creates a peaceful, comforting environment.
  • Frankincense: A rich, resinous scent that adds depth and warmth, ideal for meditation or grounding.
  • Vetiver: Earthy and grounding, this scent is great for creating a serene and tranquil space.
  • Tranquil Synergy: A calming blend of essential oils that promotes relaxation and peace.
  • Relax Synergy: A comforting mix that soothes the mind and body, perfect for unwinding.

It’s also crucial to highlight the importance of using pure essential oils. Personally, I only use Plant Therapy essential oils in my home. They are known for their high-quality oils, sourced from the best plants. When it comes to candles, you want to ensure you’re using oils that are free from toxic chemicals, as many commercial oils can contain harmful substances. By choosing pure oils, you’ll get the best scent possible and avoid introducing any harmful chemicals into your home. This will not only improve the scent of your candles but also make your environment healthier and safer.

How long do tallow candles last?

The longevity of your homemade tallow candles depends on factors like the amount of tallow used, the wick type, and the candle size. To ensure your candles last as long as possible, here are a few tips:

  • Candle Size: Choose a larger container for your candles to increase their burn time. A bigger candle will take longer to fully melt, meaning it will last for several uses.
  • Wick Type: Opt for the right wick for your candle’s size. A wick that’s too small may burn too quickly, while a wick that’s too large may cause the candle to burn too fast and unevenly. Proper wick selection ensures an even, long-lasting burn.

By making sure your candle is sized appropriately and using the right wick, you can enjoy your homemade tallow candles for many months to come.

How to store tallow candles properly?

To ensure your tallow candles last as long as possible, store them in a cool, dry place away from heat and direct sunlight. A basement is an ideal location due to its consistent, cool temperature. If you don’t have a basement, a low shelf in your closet works well too.

Proper storage will help preserve the quality of the tallow and the essential oils, allowing your candles to last for several years. Just make sure they are kept in a stable, cool environment to prevent any melting or degradation over time.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, making your own tallow candles with essential oils is a rewarding and eco-friendly way to enjoy a natural, toxin-free alternative to commercial candles. Not only do they provide a clean, long-lasting burn, but you can also customize the scent to suit your mood or needs. Whether you’re looking to add a relaxing fragrance to your home, create a unique gift, or have a backup for power outages, homemade tallow candles are an excellent addition to your home. With just a few simple ingredients and some creativity, you can enjoy a sustainable, personal touch to your candle collection.

197 BEST DAD JOKES THAT ARE ACTUALLY QUITE AMUSING

Ever heard a joke so bad, it’s actually kind of good? That’s the magic of dad jokes. These groan-worthy puns and cheesy one-liners are a beloved tradition, often delivered with a straight face and a twinkle in the eye. While they may not win any comedy awards, dad jokes have a unique ability to bring a smile to even the most serious faces. Get ready to cringe, chuckle, and maybe even groan a little as we dive into a collection of 197 of the best dad jokes that are actually quite amusing.

DAD JOKES ABOUT VACATION

  • Why don’t oysters go on vacation? Because they’re shellfish!
  • Why do cows love vacation? Because they can moo-ve freely!
  • Why did the math book go to the beach? To work on its tan!
  • What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time, no sea!
  • Why did the computer go to the beach? To surf the net!

DAD JOKES ABOUT DRINKS

  • Why did the coffee call the cops? It got mugged!
  • What type of coffee does a vampire drink? Decoffin-ated!
  • How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his tea before it was cool!
  • How does a coffee bean hit on someone? “Hey brew-tiful!”
  • Why is coffee so good at solving mysteries? Because it always has a latte clues!
  • What do you call a nervous cup of tea? Anxi-tea!
  • What’s coffee’s favorite type of music? R&Brew!
  • What do you call a sad cup of tea? Steeped in sorrow!
  • Why did the tea leaf avoid the hot water? It said, “I’m not ready to steep into that yet!”

DAD JOKES ABOUT READING

  • I’m reading a book about mazes. I got lost in it!
  • I’m reading a book about submarines. It’s super deep!
  • I’m reading a book about glue. I can’t seem to put it down!
  • I’m reading a book on clocks. It’s about time!
  • Let’s make a reservation at the library before they’re booked!
  • What’s a librarian’s favorite type of music? Shhh-mooth jazz!

DAD JOKES ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

  • Why did the scarecrow join LinkedIn? Because he wanted to become outstanding in his field!
  • What did the dad say when he couldn’t log into his social media account? “Looks like I’ll have to face(book) the music!”
  • Why did the dad take a ladder to his Instagram profile? Because he heard it had a lot of posts!
  • What do you call someone who gets easily annoyed in the comments section? An insta-grump.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FAMILIES

  • My son has his BA and his MA, but his P­A still supports him.
  • My daughter’s fourth birthday was today. When she came to see me, I didn’t recognize her at first. I had never seen her be four.
  • I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house, but the kids still get in.

DAD JOKES ABOUT CHORES

  • I’m really not into spring cleaning. Come to think of it, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
  • I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s just something I could really see myself doing.
  • When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
  • My wife and I were having an argument about whose turn it was to do the laundry. In the end, I threw in the towel.

CHEESY DAD JOKES

  • Why are pirates called pirates? They just ARRRR!
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

CORNY DAD JOKES

  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
  • Why can’t a leopard hide? He’s always spotted.
  • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
  • What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

DAD JOKES ABOUT TECHNOLOGY

  • What was the spider doing on the computer? He was making a web-site.
  • What did the computer have during his break time? He had a byte!
  • What shoes do computers love the most? Re-boots.
  • Why did the computer go to the dentist? To get his Bluetooth checked.

DAD JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

  • I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  • I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
  • I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.

DAD JOKES ABOUT HOUSES

  • How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it’s on the house.
  • Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can’t jump.
  • If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.

DAD JOKES THAT MAKE YOU THINK

  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I guess I should have put it on aloha setting.
  • Don’t trust Adams. They make up everything.
  • What did the zero say to the eight? That belt looks good on you.

DAD JOKES ABOUT LOVE

  • We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.
  • Do you like vegetables? Because I love you from my head tomatoes.
  • Never laugh at your significant other’s choices — because you happen to be one of them.

DAD JOKES ABOUT SUMMER

  • What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
  • What do you call a Golden Retriever at the beach? A hot dog.
  • Why don’t fish go on summer vacation? Because they’re always in schools.

DAD JOKES ABOUT LAZINESS

  • Don’t get mad at lazy people. They didn’t do anything.
  • Interviewer: “Describe yourself in three words.” Interviewee: “Lazy.”
  • Want to hear a joke about procrastination? I’ll tell you later.

DAD JOKES ABOUT CARS

  • What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas? A Ford Siesta.
  • I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
  • What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.

DAD JOKES ABOUT MONEY

  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
  • Where does 007 invest his money? In the bond market.
  • What did the comedian say when he walked into the bank? This is a standup.

DAD JOKES ABOUT MUSIC

  • What’s the best kind of music to listen to when fishing? Something catchy.
  • What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
  • What kind of music does a boulder like? Rock ‘n’ roll.
  • Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

DAD JOKES ABOUT BOOKS

  • What has a spine but no bones? A book.
  • What would happen if you threw all the books in the ocean? It would cause a title wave.
  • Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.

DAD JOKES ABOUT PARENTHOOD

  • “Today my son asked me, ‘Can I have a bookmark’? I burst into tears — he’s 12 years old and still doesn’t know my name!”
  • What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? “Bison!”
  • When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FATHER’S DAY

  • What did the baby computer say to its dad on Father’s Day? Happy Father’s Day, Data!
  • Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales? Because fathers are priceless.
  • Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day? Because they thought he was the coolest dad.

DAD JOKES ABOUT WORK

  • Why did the construction workers always bring a pencil to lunch? They wanted to draw their own conclusions!
  • Why did the sandwich get a promotion? Because he was the best thing since sliced bread.
  • Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off.
  • I used to work for the paper business. But then it folded.
  • I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. It turns out nobody thought I was fare.

DAD JOKES ABOUT HAIRCUTS

  • How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
  • “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”

DAD JOKES THAT PROVOKE A GOOD-NATURED EYE ROLL

  • I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit. Honestly, not a big fan.
  • How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.

DAD JOKES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

  • My wife found a spider in our house and told me to take it out, so I did. We had a few drinks, pretty nice guy.
  • My wife screamed, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?!” What a weird place to start a conversation.
  • My wife is mad I keep introducing her as my “ex-girlfriend”. So I went with “ex-fiancé” instead.
  • Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”
  • Why did Comic Sans divorce Times New Roman? He just wasn’t her type.

DAD JOKES ABOUT BEING OLD

  • What is a prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy.
  • Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me. My knees, my back, my neck…
  • Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

DAD JOKES ABOUT GETTING OLDER

  • How is the moon like dentures? Both come out at night.
  • What do you call someone who enjoys Mondays? Retired.
  • If you lose something in a senior care home, don’t stop looking until you’ve searched every nook and granny.
  • An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her. “So,” he says, “Do I come here often?”

DAD JOKES ABOUT BODY & MIND

  • Dad: Well, you know what they say, the memory is the second thing to go. Son: What’s the first? Dad: I forget.
  • Stop thinking of them as “hot flashes.” Think of them as your inner child playing with matches.
  • I told my doctor I could only hear buzzing. He said don’t worry, it’s just a bug going around.

DAD JOKES ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

  • What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Can’t elope.
  • Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.
  • Did you hear about the two florists who got married? It was an arranged marriage.
  • Two cannonballs got married this morning. I hear they’re already expecting BBs.
  • I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant, and the groom was glowing.

DAD JOKES ABOUT WEDDINGS

  • I went to a really emotional wedding last week, even the cake was in tiers.
  • My antenna married my neighbor’s antenna. The wedding was not so good as this one, but the reception was fantastic!

DAD JOKES ABOUT CANDLES

  • Do you know why I get heartburn when I eat birthday cake? I always forget to blow out the candles!
  • Why do people put birthday candles on top of a birthday cake? Because you can’t put them on the bottom, can you?!
  • What kind of candle burns longer than others? None, silly — they all burn shorter.
  • Why do candles love birthdays? They like to get lit.

DAD JOKES FOR BIRTHDAYS

  • What happens if no one turns up to your birthday party? You get to have you cake and eat it, too.
  • Why didn’t the teddy bear eat any of its birthday cake? Because it was already stuffed!
  • Why don’t kids remember their past birthday parties? They’re too focused on the present!
  • What type of party do you throw for a dog’s birthday? A ball.
  • What are you if you go to a ghost birthday party? The life of the party!

DAD JOKES ABOUT SPORTS

  • Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball? If he raises them both, he’d fall down.
  • Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from? The tooth fairy.
  • I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
  • What does a sprinter eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
  • Why don’t football players were glasses? It’s a contact sport.
  • Why couldn’t the baby score in basketball? He was always dribbling.
  • What’s the best animal in soccer? A score-pion.

DAD JOKES ABOUT ANIMALS

  • Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? Because she was a little horse.
  • What do you say when a chicken is looking at salad? Chicken sees a salad.
  • What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
  • Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her.
  • What’s a dog’s favorite super hero? Labra-Thor.
  • What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
  • A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back. “I am a turtle,” he says. “Who’s on your back?” “That’s Michelle.”
  • Why aren’t dogs allowed in bars? Because they can’t control their licker.
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

DAD JOKES FOR KIDS

  • What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  • I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
  • Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
  • I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels. She said, “Yes, try Sarah Topps.”
  • What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  • Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  • I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey…. but I turned myself around.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FOOD

  • Someone told me that it’s impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I said that’s not nececelery true.
  • My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk!
  • Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
  • What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where’s Pop Corn?
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  • I tried all morning to cook up an egg-related pun, but I couldn’t crack it.
  • How do you make an apple turnover? Push it downhill.

FUNNY DAD JOKES

  • What do you call a Frenchman who has been attacked by a cat? Claude.
  • My 6-year-old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill. Looks like she’s preparing some kind of barbie queue.
  • How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? Easy, one will see you later, the other will see you in a while.

SILLY DAD JOKES

  • What has five toes but isn’t your foot? My foot.
  • What looks like half a tree? The other half.
  • Two guys walked into a bar… the third one ducked.
  • Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they play golf? In case they get a hole in one.

WORST DAD JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

  • Have you heard of the new sport called quiet tennis? It’s like normal tennis but without the racket.
  • Why did the god of thunder need to stretch his legs? He was a little Thor.
  • What’s the least spoken language? Sign language.
  • What building in your town has the most stories? The public library.
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I’m going to the beer store and I’m scared it will be closed.
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

CRINGIEST DAD JOKES

  • Did you hear the joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tear-able.
  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  • What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh, sheet.
  • What was even more useful than the first telephone? The second telephone.
  • I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
  • Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

PUNNIEST DAD JOKES

  • Son: “Dad, can you please explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”
  • Why did the man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
  • I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to win. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
  • Where do you take someone who’s been in a peek-a-boo accident? The ICU.
  • Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? There was nothing left but debris.
  • How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

BEST DAD JOKES THAT ARE ACTUALLY (KIND OF) FUNNY

  • As I get older, I remember all of the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right choice.
  • Went to the bar tonight. Good times. Only a 15-minute walk. But the walk home took 45 minutes, the difference was staggering.
  • I recently took a pole. And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

RANDOM DAD JOKES

  • Why don’t skeletons get out of town during the Halloween season? They don’t have the guts!
  • Why was the math book upset? It had too many problems.
  • How do you put together a space party? You planet.
  • What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta
  • I wish I could tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
  • Why don’t airplanes ever get lost? Because they always wing it!
  • Why did the ghosts go to the party? It was all for the boos.
  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  • I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
  • Why did the bicycle go to bed so early? It was two-tired!
  • Why are scientists so skeptical of atoms? Because they make up everything!