197 BEST DAD JOKES THAT ARE ACTUALLY QUITE AMUSING

Ever heard a joke so bad, it’s actually kind of good? That’s the magic of dad jokes. These groan-worthy puns and cheesy one-liners are a beloved tradition, often delivered with a straight face and a twinkle in the eye. While they may not win any comedy awards, dad jokes have a unique ability to bring a smile to even the most serious faces. Get ready to cringe, chuckle, and maybe even groan a little as we dive into a collection of 197 of the best dad jokes that are actually quite amusing.

DAD JOKES ABOUT VACATION

  • Why don’t oysters go on vacation? Because they’re shellfish!
  • Why do cows love vacation? Because they can moo-ve freely!
  • Why did the math book go to the beach? To work on its tan!
  • What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time, no sea!
  • Why did the computer go to the beach? To surf the net!

DAD JOKES ABOUT DRINKS

  • Why did the coffee call the cops? It got mugged!
  • What type of coffee does a vampire drink? Decoffin-ated!
  • How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his tea before it was cool!
  • How does a coffee bean hit on someone? “Hey brew-tiful!”
  • Why is coffee so good at solving mysteries? Because it always has a latte clues!
  • What do you call a nervous cup of tea? Anxi-tea!
  • What’s coffee’s favorite type of music? R&Brew!
  • What do you call a sad cup of tea? Steeped in sorrow!
  • Why did the tea leaf avoid the hot water? It said, “I’m not ready to steep into that yet!”

DAD JOKES ABOUT READING

  • I’m reading a book about mazes. I got lost in it!
  • I’m reading a book about submarines. It’s super deep!
  • I’m reading a book about glue. I can’t seem to put it down!
  • I’m reading a book on clocks. It’s about time!
  • Let’s make a reservation at the library before they’re booked!
  • What’s a librarian’s favorite type of music? Shhh-mooth jazz!

DAD JOKES ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

  • Why did the scarecrow join LinkedIn? Because he wanted to become outstanding in his field!
  • What did the dad say when he couldn’t log into his social media account? “Looks like I’ll have to face(book) the music!”
  • Why did the dad take a ladder to his Instagram profile? Because he heard it had a lot of posts!
  • What do you call someone who gets easily annoyed in the comments section? An insta-grump.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FAMILIES

  • My son has his BA and his MA, but his P­A still supports him.
  • My daughter’s fourth birthday was today. When she came to see me, I didn’t recognize her at first. I had never seen her be four.
  • I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house, but the kids still get in.

DAD JOKES ABOUT CHORES

  • I’m really not into spring cleaning. Come to think of it, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
  • I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s just something I could really see myself doing.
  • When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
  • My wife and I were having an argument about whose turn it was to do the laundry. In the end, I threw in the towel.

CHEESY DAD JOKES

  • Why are pirates called pirates? They just ARRRR!
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

CORNY DAD JOKES

  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
  • Why can’t a leopard hide? He’s always spotted.
  • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
  • What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

DAD JOKES ABOUT TECHNOLOGY

  • What was the spider doing on the computer? He was making a web-site.
  • What did the computer have during his break time? He had a byte!
  • What shoes do computers love the most? Re-boots.
  • Why did the computer go to the dentist? To get his Bluetooth checked.

DAD JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

  • I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  • I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
  • I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.

DAD JOKES ABOUT HOUSES

  • How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it’s on the house.
  • Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can’t jump.
  • If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.

DAD JOKES THAT MAKE YOU THINK

  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I guess I should have put it on aloha setting.
  • Don’t trust Adams. They make up everything.
  • What did the zero say to the eight? That belt looks good on you.

DAD JOKES ABOUT LOVE

  • We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.
  • Do you like vegetables? Because I love you from my head tomatoes.
  • Never laugh at your significant other’s choices — because you happen to be one of them.

DAD JOKES ABOUT SUMMER

  • What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
  • What do you call a Golden Retriever at the beach? A hot dog.
  • Why don’t fish go on summer vacation? Because they’re always in schools.

DAD JOKES ABOUT LAZINESS

  • Don’t get mad at lazy people. They didn’t do anything.
  • Interviewer: “Describe yourself in three words.” Interviewee: “Lazy.”
  • Want to hear a joke about procrastination? I’ll tell you later.

DAD JOKES ABOUT CARS

  • What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas? A Ford Siesta.
  • I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
  • What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.

DAD JOKES ABOUT MONEY

  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
  • Where does 007 invest his money? In the bond market.
  • What did the comedian say when he walked into the bank? This is a standup.

DAD JOKES ABOUT MUSIC

  • What’s the best kind of music to listen to when fishing? Something catchy.
  • What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
  • What kind of music does a boulder like? Rock ‘n’ roll.
  • Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

DAD JOKES ABOUT BOOKS

  • What has a spine but no bones? A book.
  • What would happen if you threw all the books in the ocean? It would cause a title wave.
  • Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.

DAD JOKES ABOUT PARENTHOOD

  • “Today my son asked me, ‘Can I have a bookmark’? I burst into tears — he’s 12 years old and still doesn’t know my name!”
  • What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? “Bison!”
  • When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FATHER’S DAY

  • What did the baby computer say to its dad on Father’s Day? Happy Father’s Day, Data!
  • Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales? Because fathers are priceless.
  • Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day? Because they thought he was the coolest dad.

DAD JOKES ABOUT WORK

  • Why did the construction workers always bring a pencil to lunch? They wanted to draw their own conclusions!
  • Why did the sandwich get a promotion? Because he was the best thing since sliced bread.
  • Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off.
  • I used to work for the paper business. But then it folded.
  • I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. It turns out nobody thought I was fare.

DAD JOKES ABOUT HAIRCUTS

  • How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
  • “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”

DAD JOKES THAT PROVOKE A GOOD-NATURED EYE ROLL

  • I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit. Honestly, not a big fan.
  • How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.

DAD JOKES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

  • My wife found a spider in our house and told me to take it out, so I did. We had a few drinks, pretty nice guy.
  • My wife screamed, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?!” What a weird place to start a conversation.
  • My wife is mad I keep introducing her as my “ex-girlfriend”. So I went with “ex-fiancé” instead.
  • Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”
  • Why did Comic Sans divorce Times New Roman? He just wasn’t her type.

DAD JOKES ABOUT BEING OLD

  • What is a prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy.
  • Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me. My knees, my back, my neck…
  • Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

DAD JOKES ABOUT GETTING OLDER

  • How is the moon like dentures? Both come out at night.
  • What do you call someone who enjoys Mondays? Retired.
  • If you lose something in a senior care home, don’t stop looking until you’ve searched every nook and granny.
  • An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her. “So,” he says, “Do I come here often?”

DAD JOKES ABOUT BODY & MIND

  • Dad: Well, you know what they say, the memory is the second thing to go. Son: What’s the first? Dad: I forget.
  • Stop thinking of them as “hot flashes.” Think of them as your inner child playing with matches.
  • I told my doctor I could only hear buzzing. He said don’t worry, it’s just a bug going around.

DAD JOKES ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

  • What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Can’t elope.
  • Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.
  • Did you hear about the two florists who got married? It was an arranged marriage.
  • Two cannonballs got married this morning. I hear they’re already expecting BBs.
  • I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant, and the groom was glowing.

DAD JOKES ABOUT WEDDINGS

  • I went to a really emotional wedding last week, even the cake was in tiers.
  • My antenna married my neighbor’s antenna. The wedding was not so good as this one, but the reception was fantastic!

DAD JOKES ABOUT CANDLES

  • Do you know why I get heartburn when I eat birthday cake? I always forget to blow out the candles!
  • Why do people put birthday candles on top of a birthday cake? Because you can’t put them on the bottom, can you?!
  • What kind of candle burns longer than others? None, silly — they all burn shorter.
  • Why do candles love birthdays? They like to get lit.

DAD JOKES FOR BIRTHDAYS

  • What happens if no one turns up to your birthday party? You get to have you cake and eat it, too.
  • Why didn’t the teddy bear eat any of its birthday cake? Because it was already stuffed!
  • Why don’t kids remember their past birthday parties? They’re too focused on the present!
  • What type of party do you throw for a dog’s birthday? A ball.
  • What are you if you go to a ghost birthday party? The life of the party!

DAD JOKES ABOUT SPORTS

  • Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball? If he raises them both, he’d fall down.
  • Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from? The tooth fairy.
  • I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
  • What does a sprinter eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
  • Why don’t football players were glasses? It’s a contact sport.
  • Why couldn’t the baby score in basketball? He was always dribbling.
  • What’s the best animal in soccer? A score-pion.

DAD JOKES ABOUT ANIMALS

  • Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? Because she was a little horse.
  • What do you say when a chicken is looking at salad? Chicken sees a salad.
  • What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
  • Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her.
  • What’s a dog’s favorite super hero? Labra-Thor.
  • What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
  • A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back. “I am a turtle,” he says. “Who’s on your back?” “That’s Michelle.”
  • Why aren’t dogs allowed in bars? Because they can’t control their licker.
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

DAD JOKES FOR KIDS

  • What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  • I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
  • Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
  • I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels. She said, “Yes, try Sarah Topps.”
  • What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  • Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  • I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey…. but I turned myself around.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FOOD

  • Someone told me that it’s impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I said that’s not nececelery true.
  • My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk!
  • Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
  • What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where’s Pop Corn?
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  • I tried all morning to cook up an egg-related pun, but I couldn’t crack it.
  • How do you make an apple turnover? Push it downhill.

FUNNY DAD JOKES

  • What do you call a Frenchman who has been attacked by a cat? Claude.
  • My 6-year-old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill. Looks like she’s preparing some kind of barbie queue.
  • How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? Easy, one will see you later, the other will see you in a while.

SILLY DAD JOKES

  • What has five toes but isn’t your foot? My foot.
  • What looks like half a tree? The other half.
  • Two guys walked into a bar… the third one ducked.
  • Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they play golf? In case they get a hole in one.

WORST DAD JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

  • Have you heard of the new sport called quiet tennis? It’s like normal tennis but without the racket.
  • Why did the god of thunder need to stretch his legs? He was a little Thor.
  • What’s the least spoken language? Sign language.
  • What building in your town has the most stories? The public library.
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I’m going to the beer store and I’m scared it will be closed.
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

CRINGIEST DAD JOKES

  • Did you hear the joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tear-able.
  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  • What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh, sheet.
  • What was even more useful than the first telephone? The second telephone.
  • I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
  • Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

PUNNIEST DAD JOKES

  • Son: “Dad, can you please explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”
  • Why did the man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
  • I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to win. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
  • Where do you take someone who’s been in a peek-a-boo accident? The ICU.
  • Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? There was nothing left but debris.
  • How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

BEST DAD JOKES THAT ARE ACTUALLY (KIND OF) FUNNY

  • As I get older, I remember all of the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right choice.
  • Went to the bar tonight. Good times. Only a 15-minute walk. But the walk home took 45 minutes, the difference was staggering.
  • I recently took a pole. And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

RANDOM DAD JOKES

  • Why don’t skeletons get out of town during the Halloween season? They don’t have the guts!
  • Why was the math book upset? It had too many problems.
  • How do you put together a space party? You planet.
  • What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta
  • I wish I could tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
  • Why don’t airplanes ever get lost? Because they always wing it!
  • Why did the ghosts go to the party? It was all for the boos.
  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  • I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
  • Why did the bicycle go to bed so early? It was two-tired!
  • Why are scientists so skeptical of atoms? Because they make up everything!

41 ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR FIRST-TIME TRAVELERS TO JAPAN: ETIQUETTE AND CULTURAL INSIGHTS

Japan is rapidly becoming a popular destination, with more travelers choosing to explore its unique charm each year. However, Japanese culture and etiquette are distinctive and differ greatly from other parts of the world.

In this etiquette guide, I’m sharing essential tips that every traveler should know before visiting Japan for the first time. Understanding these cultural nuances not only helps you show respect as a visitor but also enhances your experience in this spectacular country.

Here’s my comprehensive guide to Japan etiquette for tourists, along with helpful tips for making the most of your first trip to Japan.

PLAN WHICH SEASON TO VISIT JAPAN

If you want to experience Japan’s famous Sakura season, plan your visit in spring (March to April). Autumn is another popular season, with vibrant fall foliage best seen from October to November. However, if your travel dates are flexible and you’re not set on visiting during these peak times, traveling during the low season (June to September or December to February) can offer fewer crowds and better deals.

While summer is typhoon season, rainstorms generally pass quickly. If you’re a skier, winter is an ideal time to visit Japan.

On our recent trip from late November to mid-December, we enjoyed autumn foliage in Kyoto in early December and then flew to Hokkaido to experience the snow. Winter in Japan is breathtaking, and we’re already planning another winter trip. I highly recommend visiting during the colder months for a unique experience with fewer crowds and lower costs!

DOWNLOAD OFFLINE MAPS (GOOGLE MAPS OR MAP.ME)

Be sure to download maps or bring a physical map with you on your trip. You can also ask your accommodation for any local maps.

While WiFi is common in cities, it may be less available or secure in smaller towns and rural areas.

For reliable data access abroad, I recommend using Airalo eSIMs. Just download the app and purchase a virtual eSIM, which works in over 180 countries. As long as your smartphone supports eSIM (most newer models do), this is an affordable and convenient way to stay connected while traveling.

DOWNLOAD TRANSLATION APPS

One of my top tips for first-time travelers to Japan is to download Google Translate or bring a phrasebook before you go.

While navigating signage in big cities is manageable (I found Tokyo’s metro system easy to use thanks to color coding and symbols), it can be more challenging in other areas.

English isn’t widely spoken, except among younger people. However, the Japanese are very helpful, and knowing a few phrases, like how to say “thank you” in Japanese, will go a long way.

The camera function in Google Translate is especially useful—just point your phone at text (signs, menus, etc.) and it will translate in real-time on your screen!

CARRY YOUR PASSPORT WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES

In Japan, foreign visitors are legally required to carry their passport at all times to show ID and visa status if requested. Although you might not be asked to show it frequently, it’s wise to keep your passport with you and have a photocopy stored safely at your accommodation as a backup, just in case.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP IF YOU GET STUCK

That’s a great point! Many Japanese people are very helpful, even if they don’t speak English. Showing them a place name on your phone or map can be very effective. Learning a few basic phrases like “Please,” “Thank you,” or “Where is…” demonstrates your effort and respect as a visitor, and locals often appreciate the gesture.

DON’T WEAR YOUR OUTDOOR SHOES INDOORS

In Japan, it’s considered impolite to wear outdoor shoes indoors in many places. You’ll need to get used to changing into slippers or slip-on shoes at the entrance of homes, and even in some restaurants and shops—slippers are usually provided for you.

If you’re staying in Japan for an extended period, it may be a good idea to buy your own pair of indoor slippers to carry with you for convenience.

STAY IN A CAPSULE HOTEL OR HOSTEL

Capsule hotels are a popular accommodation option in Japan and other parts of Asia. They offer the budget-friendly benefits of a hostel while providing your own private space, complete with a bed, bedding, light, shelving, and storage—luxury capsules often come with even more amenities. Additionally, consider staying in a Ryokan, a traditional Japanese-style inn, for a more authentic experience.

Keep in mind that Airbnb is widely unpopular in Japan, and there have been several legal disputes over properties being rented illegally. I recommend avoiding Airbnb altogether and opting for a traditional Ryokan or capsule hostel instead.

FOOD AT CONVENIENCE AND GROCERY STORES IS AMAZING

Convenience stores in Japan are fantastic for grabbing snacks and meals on the go. They offer a wide range of fresh and tasty options. Some of my favorites were Onigiri, pork buns, and Mochi balls, and I found the fresh sushi to be better than some I’ve had at Japanese restaurants back home.

You can also check out grocery stores with prepared food sections—they often have a great selection of meals, including sushi.

DON’T CONSUME FOOD WHILE YOU’RE OUT IN PUBLIC

In Japan, it’s considered impolite to eat while walking. Eating on the go is generally frowned upon unless you’re in a specific setting, like a food market. This custom also explains why you’ll find very few rubbish bins in public spaces.

Japanese cities are remarkably clean, with very little litter. If you have any trash, it’s best to keep it in your bag and dispose of it later, such as when you return home.

If you purchase food from a convenience store or street vendor, it’s customary to stand still and eat it where you bought it. There’s often a trash can nearby, making it easier to dispose of your waste without carrying it around.

GET TO GRIPS WITH CHOPSTICKS (NO PUN INTENDED!)

Great advice! In Japan, knives and forks are uncommon, especially outside of major cities, so being comfortable with chopsticks is important. To practice, you can wrap a rubber band around chopsticks and place a roll of paper between them to simulate the pincer movement. And remember, using chopsticks to stab your food is considered impolite.

KNOW HOW TO PLACE YOUR CHOPSTICKS

Exactly! When you put down chopsticks, you should either rest them across your bowl or on the chopstick rest if provided. Sticking them upright in your rice or placing them directly on the table is considered improper etiquette in Japan.

VEGETARIANS MAY STRUGGLE IN JAPAN – DOWNLOAD THE HAPPY COW APP

Navigating vegetarian options in Japan can be challenging, as vegetarianism isn’t widely recognized, and fish and chicken might not be classified as “meat.” Many broths used in dishes contain meat, so it’s important to be cautious.

Checking side dishes and noodle soups can be a good strategy, but always clarify with the help of Google Translate if you’re unsure. Additionally, the app Happy Cow is useful for finding vegan and vegetarian restaurants, especially in urban areas.

BOW TO GREET SOMEONE

In Japan, bowing is a customary way to convey greetings, thanks, or apologies. It’s a significant part of social etiquette. Typically, you’ll bow when greeting someone, expressing gratitude, or making an apology.

The best way to learn is by observing and following the locals. If someone bows to you, it’s polite to return the bow. It helps you blend in and show respect for local customs.

KEEP TO THE LEFT!

As a British traveler, you’ll be pleased to know that Japan also keeps to the left for cars, bikes, and pedestrian traffic. Punctuality is highly valued in Japan, so be mindful of standing on the correct side of escalators to avoid blocking others.

DON’T BLOW YOUR NOSE IN PUBLIC

It may come as a surprise, but in Japan, blowing your nose in public is considered bad etiquette. Instead, you’ll notice that people often sniffle in public settings, and you may need to do the same until you can find a private place to blow your nose. If the sound of sniffing bothers you, it’s something you’ll need to get used to during your time in Japan!

USE THE LUGGAGE FORWARDING SERVICE

Great tip! Avoiding rush hours with large luggage is definitely considerate. The Yamato Transport service is a lifesaver for managing luggage across Japan, especially when dealing with limited accessibility at stations or traveling on trains without reserved luggage space. Their “Hands-Free Travel” service is incredibly convenient for a smooth journey.

BUY A SUICA CARD OR PASMO CARD IN TOKYO

When you’re in Tokyo, consider getting a Suica or Pasmo card. These IC travel cards are re-loadable and make using the transport system much easier. You can also withdraw any remaining balance from the card before you leave Japan.

Similar IC cards are available throughout Japan—like Icoca in Osaka—which streamline the swipe-in/swipe-out process at train stations, saving you from having to buy a new ticket each time.

If you’re an iPhone user, you can purchase a Suica Card directly on your phone and add it to your Apple Wallet. Unfortunately, this feature isn’t available for Android users yet.

SLURPING YOUR FOOD SHOWS YOUR APPRECIATION!

In Japan, slurping your food is perfectly acceptable and even encouraged—it signals that you’re enjoying your meal. The louder the slurp, the more satisfied you’re considered to be. This is especially true for noodles, soups, and broth-based dishes. So, don’t hesitate to embrace this cultural norm and enjoy your food with a satisfying slurp!

DON’T TIP IN JAPAN

Great news for your budget: tipping is considered rude and unnecessary in Japan. High standards of service are expected, so there’s no need to leave a tip.

This can be a surprising tip for first-time travelers from places like the U.S., where tipping is customary.

If you do feel compelled to show appreciation in certain situations, like an exceptional homestay, you can place the money in an envelope and offer it discreetly.

JAYWALKING IS ILLEGAL

Absolutely! Always use the designated crossings when crossing streets. Japan’s traffic rules and pedestrian systems are well-organized, and using the crossings helps ensure your safety and keeps traffic flowing smoothly.

PREBOOK LUGGAGE SPACE ON SHINKANSENS

That’s a crucial tip for traveling on the Shinkansen! The larger luggage storage spaces on bullet trains require advance reservation, and they do sell out quickly. If you don’t book a space in advance, you might be asked to move your luggage if it’s in someone else’s reserved area.

For convenience, especially if you have prams or large items, using the luggage forwarding service from Yamato Transport can be a great solution. It ensures you can travel comfortably without worrying about space on the train.

HAVE CASH WITH YOU

Be sure to bring a suitable amount of cash with you to Japan. You can exchange money before you go, use ATMs at the airport, or find a convenience store like 7-11, which typically has ATMs inside. While credit cards are increasingly accepted, cash remains widely used and is essential for many transactions.

TAKE A COIN PURSE

While Japan is increasingly cashless, carrying some cash is still necessary. This often results in a significant amount of coin change. To stay organized, it’s advisable to bring a coin purse to keep your loose change together.

PUT YOUR MONEY IN THE TRAY

When paying for items in Japan, use the small tray provided on the counter for your money—handing money directly to the cashier is considered impolite. Always place your payment in the tray.

It’s also important not to count your change at the counter. In Japanese culture, politeness and trust are paramount, and it’s understood that you will be given the correct amount.

DON’T OPEN A TAXI DOOR YOURSELF

That’s a great tip! In Japan, taxi doors are automatic and will open and close for you without needing to touch them. Just wait for the door to open as the taxi arrives and again when you’re ready to get out. This system helps ensure a smooth and hassle-free experience.

ALLOW PLENTY OF TIME FOR CATCHING TRAINS

Absolutely, Japanese train stations can be massive and bustling, especially in major cities like Tokyo and Osaka. Arriving at least 30 minutes early at major stations is a smart move to navigate through the crowds, find your platform, and handle any last-minute details. Rural towns and smaller metro stations tend to be more manageable, so you won’t need to budget as much extra time there.

DON’T EAT ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT

Eating and drinking on public transportation, including the metro, subway, and local trains, is generally not allowed in Japan. The only exception is the Shinkansen, where you can purchase bento boxes for your journey.

HOW TO USE RAMEN TICKET VENDING MACHINES

That’s a great overview of how the food ticket system works in many ramen shops! It’s a convenient way to streamline ordering, especially in the often small and busy ramen restaurants. Using the vending machine to place your order before you sit down helps keep things efficient and minimizes wait times.

YOU WON’T GET CAUGHT SHORT!

Japan is well-known for its clean and well-maintained public toilets, and you’ll find them widely available. Many of these toilets come with high-tech features like heated seats, bidet functions, and various wash and dry options. It can be quite an experience, making a visit to the toilet a bit of a novelty and enjoyable part of your trip!

BE PREPARED FOR SMALL HOTEL ROOMS

While these tips are primarily focused on Tokyo, they can also be helpful in other parts of Japan where space is often limited. Many affordable hotels, especially those outside of the luxury category, may be smaller in size to keep costs down. A helpful tip: check for storage space under the bed, which can be a convenient place to store your luggage.

CONSIDER IF YOU NEED A JR RAIL PASS

If you’re staying in Japan for an extended period, consider purchasing a JR Rail Pass, but make sure to buy it before you arrive, as it’s cheaper in advance.

For example, I found the pass worthwhile for journeys like Tokyo to Fuji, Fuji to Kyoto, and Kyoto to Osaka. However, be aware that as of October 2023, the JR Pass price has increased by 70%, making it less cost-effective for many travelers, especially those spending around two weeks in Japan. It’s a good idea to use a JR Rail Pass calculator to see if it’s worth it for your itinerary.

Also, check which trains are covered by the pass, as not all trains are included—this includes the fastest bullet trains and some privately owned regional trains.

HAND SANITIZER AND A HAND CLOTH

While Japan boasts numerous public restrooms, it’s worth noting that many of them may not have hand soap or drying facilities. As a precaution, carrying hand sanitizer and a small cloth can be helpful for maintaining hygiene.

ACCEPT ITEMS WITH BOTH HANDS

When someone hands you something in Japan, it’s polite to accept it with both hands and with your palms laid flat. This is especially important for business cards, which hold significant value in Japanese culture. Treating the card with respect demonstrates respect for the person giving it to you.

USE THE FARE ADJUSTMENT MACHINES IF YOU’RE UNSURE WHICH TICKET TO GET

Tokyo’s metro system, like many others in Japan, charges fares based on distance traveled. If you’re buying single tickets (instead of using a convenient IC card), determining the exact fare can be a bit tricky. However, Japan’s thoughtful system allows for fare adjustments at every station. So, if you’re unsure which ticket to purchase, simply buy the cheapest option. When you reach your destination, you can easily pay the difference at a Fare Adjustment machine

COVER UP YOUR TATTOOS

In Japan, tattoos can carry a strong association with criminality due to their historical connection with the Yakuza, the Japanese organized crime gangs. As a result, tattoos are not widely accepted in public spaces, and you might encounter restrictions.

If you have visible tattoos, it’s wise to cover them up to avoid any discomfort or negative attention. When visiting traditional Onsens (hot springs), you may be required to cover your tattoos with a bandage, or you might be refused entry entirely.

DON’T SKIP AFFORDABLE JAPANESE CHAIN RESTAURANTS

Japanese fast food definitely has its own unique appeal! CoCo Curry is fantastic for curry, while Ichiran is well-loved for its ramen. Yoshinoya, Sukiya, and Matsuya are all excellent choices for gyudon rice bowls and beef rice. They offer great quality and prices, making them standout options compared to international chains. Enjoy the local flavors!

WEARING A MASK IS RESPECTFUL

While not a strict requirement, wearing a mask is a common practice in Japan, especially in crowded areas like public transportation. It’s considered a respectful gesture to follow this local custom.

CHECK FLIGHT PRICES AS WELL AS TRAIN FOR LONG DISTANCE

When traveling extensively in Japan, especially to destinations like Hokkaido or Fukuoka, it might seem like trains are the most affordable option. However, with the recent increase in JR Pass prices and the high cost of Shinkansen tickets, it’s worth considering flights as well. Japan has several low-cost domestic airlines, including Peach, Jetstar, ANA, Air Do, Japan Airlines (JAL), and Skymark, which can offer competitive fares.

DON’T MESS UP THE FLOW OF PEOPLE

Efficiency is highly valued in Japan, and most people aim to move quickly through their day. If you need to stop to check your phone, consult a map, or admire a sight, it’s considerate to step aside, preferably near a wall or waiting area. This helps avoid blocking the flow of people. Remember, stopping in the middle of the street is generally considered impolite in Japan.

YOU WILL NEED AN INTERNATIONAL DRIVING PERMIT TO HIRE A CAR

In rural areas of Japan, renting a car is common for extensive travel. However, be aware that you’ll need a valid International Driving Permit (IDP) from your home country; a standard driver’s license alone will not be sufficient.

CHECK IF YOU NEED PERMISSIONS TO BRING YOUR MEDICATION

There are two essential points to remember regarding medications in Japan. First, some over-the-counter medications commonly available in other countries, such as ibuprofen and Pseudoephedrine (found in brands like Sudafed and Vicks Inhalers), are not legal in Japan. Additionally, certain allergy medications are also restricted. It’s recommended to check the latest regulations for a comprehensive list. Fortunately, Japan offers its own versions of antihistamines and anti-inflammatories, which can be easily purchased at pharmacies.

Second, if you’re traveling with a prescription medication supply exceeding 30 days or an over-the-counter supply exceeding 60 days, you’ll need to obtain a Yunyu Kakunin-sho (exemption form). This form must be presented to customs upon arrival. I personally needed to apply for this as I was carrying more than 30 days of birth control. You can complete the application online and print the form to show to the customs officer along with your medication. The process is relatively straightforward, taking approximately 30 seconds at the airport.

Please note that narcotics and psychotropics are strictly prohibited in Japan.

CONCLUSION

I hope these tips help you feel more prepared and confident for your first trip to Japan! Having visited Japan multiple times, I understand that adjusting to local customs can be challenging. However, making an effort to respect Japanese etiquette can make a big difference. Japanese people are aware that you’re a visitor and don’t expect you to know all their customs, but showing that you’re trying to follow their rules and etiquette will be appreciated. Pin this guide to save for later and use it to plan your future travels!