20+ MYSTERY HALLOWEEN MAKEUP IDEAS FOR WOMEN

Spooky season has arrived, which means it’s the perfect time to go bold with Halloween makeup without raising any eyebrows. We’ve gathered some of the top Halloween makeup looks from Instagram, featuring everything from iconic villains to mind-bending optical illusions. Beginners will love the easy-to-master dark eyeshadow styles, while beauty enthusiasts can dive into more intricate and spooky creations. Let’s dive into the looks!

CLASSIC WICKED WITCH MAKEUP

To fully embrace the green witch aesthetic, start by applying green body paint to your face and body. Enhance your look with heavy black eyeliner for a dramatic effect, and opt for a striking black lipstick. A large witch hat is essential, and if your hair isn’t already green, consider wearing a dark wig. Don’t forget to practice your best evil laugh—it might come in handy! And remember, if your cat looks frightened, you know you’ve nailed the vibe.

GHOSTFACE EYESHADOW MAKEUP

Channel the essence of classic slasher films with an eye look inspired by Scream. Makeup artist Kim Salgado transformed her eyelids with a bloody effect using cream face paint from Mehron and Tag Body Art. To complete the look, she accessorized with a tiny knife and bloodshot drop contacts from Pinky Paradise. It’s a perfect way to pay homage to the genre while making a bold statement!

SPIDER GLAM MAKEUP

For a combination of scary, sexy, and DIY-friendly, you can easily craft your own spider-inspired glam lashes using Glamnetic’s Lush Lashes and black eyeliner to draw the “spider legs.” If you prefer a quicker option, consider investing in creepy-crawly eye shadow stickers that achieve the same eerie effect. Both methods will elevate your look for a hauntingly glamorous vibe!

BLACK AND WHITE HARLEQUIN MAKEUP

To achieve a striking black and white harlequin look, start by applying white face paint evenly across your face. Next, take black face paint to create sharp lines, forming triangles around your eyes and a split lip effect in black and white. For an extra touch, add a few small stars or diamonds near your eyes to enhance the overall design. This playful yet bold look is sure to stand out!

SPOOKY HOLLY GOLIGHTLY MAKEUP

You’ll definitely turn heads at the costume party with this unique twist on Audrey Hepburn’s Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Create a look that embodies quiet luxury on one side of your face, complete with classic makeup and a chic updo. On the other side, go for dazzling skeleton vibes, incorporating bold makeup and intricate designs. This striking contrast will make you the center of attention!

MINNIE MOUSE MAKEUP

Dressing up as Minnie Mouse is an adorable and easy costume idea! Start with a classic polka dot dress and add Minnie ears for that signature touch. Complete the look with a bright red lip and a cute nose detail. This ensemble will transport you right back to Disney World!

Bonus: Halloween eye makeup is simple to create and can be a fun activity to do with your best friends. It’s super cute and perfect for adding a little extra magic to your Minnie Mouse look!

MELTING WITCH MAKEUP

To achieve a striking melting witch look, begin with green face paint, applying it generously to one side of your face and blending it out as if you’re covering up a bad hair day. Next, take black eyeliner and draw spider webs around your eyes for an eerie effect. If you’re feeling adventurous, use liquid latex or silicone to create that melting skin vibe for an even more dramatic look. Finish off with dark lips and smoky eyes, and you’ll be all set to scare some folks!

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE HALLOWEEN MAKEUP

If you’re a fan of Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, this look is perfect for you! Makeup artist @Ashslays_xx crafted a stunning Sally Shock-inspired Halloween glam using paint from the female-owned brand Elli J Beauty. This creative transformation captures Sally’s essence while adding a unique twist, making it a fantastic choice for any Halloween celebration!

PINK GIRAFFE HALLOWEEN MAKEUP

Unleash your creativity with this Pretty in Pink giraffe makeup look for Halloween! It’s a stunning design that doesn’t require a steady hand, making it accessible for everyone. 

This look features curly hair adorned with pink and white details that will leave everyone in awe. To achieve this style, you’ll need pink, white, and black eyeshadow from your favorite palette. Complete the ensemble with baby pink lips and a touch of blush for a cohesive and adorable finish. Enjoy showcasing your artistic flair!

STITCHED DOLL MAKEUP

To create a striking stitched doll look, begin with blue face paint to establish that perfect doll aesthetic. Next, use black eyeliner to draw stitches around your mouth and forehead, as if you’ve just stepped out of a sewing class gone awry. Add some big false lashes to make your eyes really pop. Finally, finish off the look with bold red lips and well-defined brows for an eye-catching, playful effect. You’ll be ready to impress and enchant!

IT CLOWN PENNYWISE HALLOWEEN MAKEUP LOOK

Get ready for a dramatic and stunning IT clown Pennywise Halloween makeup look! Bring the iconic horror character from Stephen King’s IT to life with a bright red wig and deep red eyeshadows. Grab your favorite smoky palette and dark red lipstick to achieve that unsettling clown vibe. Use burgundy lipstick and add line details on your face for an extra creepy touch. This look will definitely make a bold statement and send shivers down spines!

CHESHIRE CAT MAKEUP

To channel a Cheshire Cat vibe, start by applying pink and purple face paint, creating fun stripes all over your face and body. Next, use black and white face paint to draw a large grin with sharp teeth—this will definitely be an eye-catcher! Add some sparkly eyeshadow and big lashes to enhance that magical, whimsical look. Finally, don’t forget to top it off with cat ears to complete your feline aesthetic. You’ll look like you just stepped out of Wonderland!

GLITTERING SKULL GLAM MAKEUP

To achieve a stunning glittery skull glam, begin by painting half your face black to create that skull effect. Then, go wild with glitters—use a mix of big and tiny glitters, applying them all over for added depth and sparkle. Don’t forget to add dramatic lashes to make your eyes really pop. Finally, finish off with a spritz of setting spray to ensure your look stays intact while you terrorize the party. You’ll be the glittering star of the night!

CYBORG MAKEUP

Showcase your superhuman makeup skills with a striking cyborg-inspired look! With intricate metallic details and futuristic elements, you’ll make everyone believe you’ve just stepped out of another dimension. Use silver and chrome face paints to create sleek lines and robotic features, and consider adding LED lights or metallic accessories for an extra wow factor. This look is sure to leave a lasting impression and elevate your Halloween game!

MYSTIC RUNE SORCERESS MAKEUP

This mystic rune sorceress look is definitely wild and enchanting! Start by applying bold black lipstick to set the tone. Next, enhance your dramatic eyes with heavy mascara for a striking effect. Using fine eyeliner, draw rune symbols all over your face to add that mystical touch. For an extra spooky vibe, don’t forget to pop in some white contacts. You’ll create a mesmerizing look that’s sure to captivate everyone around you!

CHUCKY MAKEUP

This look is all about embracing your fierce side with vibrant orange hair and striking stitched makeup. Start with a skin-tone base, then use black eyeliner to draw stitches across your face for that edgy effect. Add a touch of red eyeshadow around the stitches to enhance the overall look. Finish off with a sharp lip color and fierce nails to complete your transformation. And remember, those scissors are just for show—no real cutting involved! You’ll be ready to command attention wherever you go!

OPTICAL ILLUSION MAKEUP

You’ll leave everyone seeing double with this stunning optical illusion makeup look! The rainbow-shaded eyes take center stage, showcasing a vibrant blend of colors that mesmerize. Creative artist Brigitta Varga added a touch of long-wear red lipstick for a subtle yet striking pop of color, perfectly complementing the bold eye design. This look is sure to turn heads and spark conversations wherever you go!

Splitting Apart Makeup

Embrace a darker twist on Barbiecore pink by blending classic beauty favorites with bold, edgy flair. Start with trusted essentials like ELF Cosmetics’ Power Grip Primer and KVD Beauty’s Good Apple Liquid Foundation for a flawless base on the “normal” side. For the skull design, turn to face paint from CC Beauty and create intricate details using eyeliners from Gavissi Beauty and Glisten Cosmetics.

GORGEOUS GHOUL MAKEUP

Casper may be a friendly ghost, but you’ll be the most gorgeous ghoul around! Start by grabbing your favorite black and white eyeliners to trace as many playful ghosts across your face as you desire.

CHIC SCARECROW MAKEUP

If you’re short on time but still want a festive Halloween look, a scarecrow is the perfect choice! Start by using black eyeliner or eyeshadow to draw stitches across your mouth for that classic scarecrow vibe. Then, create a cute circle around your nose to add to the charm. Pair this with some earthy tones in your outfit, and you’ll achieve a fun and easy look that’s perfect for any Halloween celebration!

GLAMOROUS FRANKENSTEIN MAKEUP

Add a fun twist to the classic Frankenstein look with bright green skin and colorful makeup! Start by applying green face paint as your base. For an interesting touch, use different shades of eyeshadow for each eye. Then, draw stitched details around your eyes and mouth with black eyeliner for that signature look. Finish off with a bright pink lip to create a vibrant pop. Just remember, with those bolts in place, be careful not to trip as you strut your stuff! You’ll be an eye-catching and playful version of this iconic character!

TEARS OF A CLOWN MAKEUP

You can never go wrong with dramatic clown makeup, especially with a pop art-inspired twist! This style elevates the classic spooky look to a whole new level. Start with a bold base in bright colors, and use graphic outlines to create exaggerated features. Incorporate playful dots and lines for that comic book feel. Finish with dramatic lashes and a striking lip color to complete your transformation. This eye-catching look is sure to make a memorable statement at any Halloween event!

CONCLUSION

Whether you’re a seasoned makeup artist or a beginner looking to experiment, these 20+ mystery-themed Halloween makeup ideas offer a world of possibilities. From spooky skeletons to enchanting witches, there’s a look to suit every taste and skill level. So, gather your makeup supplies, let your creativity run wild, and prepare to be the star of the Halloween party. Happy haunting!

197 BEST DAD JOKES THAT ARE ACTUALLY QUITE AMUSING

Ever heard a joke so bad, it’s actually kind of good? That’s the magic of dad jokes. These groan-worthy puns and cheesy one-liners are a beloved tradition, often delivered with a straight face and a twinkle in the eye. While they may not win any comedy awards, dad jokes have a unique ability to bring a smile to even the most serious faces. Get ready to cringe, chuckle, and maybe even groan a little as we dive into a collection of 197 of the best dad jokes that are actually quite amusing.

DAD JOKES ABOUT VACATION

  • Why don’t oysters go on vacation? Because they’re shellfish!
  • Why do cows love vacation? Because they can moo-ve freely!
  • Why did the math book go to the beach? To work on its tan!
  • What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time, no sea!
  • Why did the computer go to the beach? To surf the net!

DAD JOKES ABOUT DRINKS

  • Why did the coffee call the cops? It got mugged!
  • What type of coffee does a vampire drink? Decoffin-ated!
  • How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his tea before it was cool!
  • How does a coffee bean hit on someone? “Hey brew-tiful!”
  • Why is coffee so good at solving mysteries? Because it always has a latte clues!
  • What do you call a nervous cup of tea? Anxi-tea!
  • What’s coffee’s favorite type of music? R&Brew!
  • What do you call a sad cup of tea? Steeped in sorrow!
  • Why did the tea leaf avoid the hot water? It said, “I’m not ready to steep into that yet!”

DAD JOKES ABOUT READING

  • I’m reading a book about mazes. I got lost in it!
  • I’m reading a book about submarines. It’s super deep!
  • I’m reading a book about glue. I can’t seem to put it down!
  • I’m reading a book on clocks. It’s about time!
  • Let’s make a reservation at the library before they’re booked!
  • What’s a librarian’s favorite type of music? Shhh-mooth jazz!

DAD JOKES ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

  • Why did the scarecrow join LinkedIn? Because he wanted to become outstanding in his field!
  • What did the dad say when he couldn’t log into his social media account? “Looks like I’ll have to face(book) the music!”
  • Why did the dad take a ladder to his Instagram profile? Because he heard it had a lot of posts!
  • What do you call someone who gets easily annoyed in the comments section? An insta-grump.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FAMILIES

  • My son has his BA and his MA, but his P­A still supports him.
  • My daughter’s fourth birthday was today. When she came to see me, I didn’t recognize her at first. I had never seen her be four.
  • I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house, but the kids still get in.

DAD JOKES ABOUT CHORES

  • I’m really not into spring cleaning. Come to think of it, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
  • I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s just something I could really see myself doing.
  • When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.
  • My wife and I were having an argument about whose turn it was to do the laundry. In the end, I threw in the towel.

CHEESY DAD JOKES

  • Why are pirates called pirates? They just ARRRR!
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.
  • Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.

CORNY DAD JOKES

  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
  • Why can’t a leopard hide? He’s always spotted.
  • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
  • Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
  • What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

DAD JOKES ABOUT TECHNOLOGY

  • What was the spider doing on the computer? He was making a web-site.
  • What did the computer have during his break time? He had a byte!
  • What shoes do computers love the most? Re-boots.
  • Why did the computer go to the dentist? To get his Bluetooth checked.

DAD JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

  • I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
  • I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
  • I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.

DAD JOKES ABOUT HOUSES

  • How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it’s on the house.
  • Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can’t jump.
  • If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.

DAD JOKES THAT MAKE YOU THINK

  • I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I guess I should have put it on aloha setting.
  • Don’t trust Adams. They make up everything.
  • What did the zero say to the eight? That belt looks good on you.

DAD JOKES ABOUT LOVE

  • We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.
  • Do you like vegetables? Because I love you from my head tomatoes.
  • Never laugh at your significant other’s choices — because you happen to be one of them.

DAD JOKES ABOUT SUMMER

  • What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
  • What do you call a Golden Retriever at the beach? A hot dog.
  • Why don’t fish go on summer vacation? Because they’re always in schools.

DAD JOKES ABOUT LAZINESS

  • Don’t get mad at lazy people. They didn’t do anything.
  • Interviewer: “Describe yourself in three words.” Interviewee: “Lazy.”
  • Want to hear a joke about procrastination? I’ll tell you later.

DAD JOKES ABOUT CARS

  • What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas? A Ford Siesta.
  • I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
  • What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.

DAD JOKES ABOUT MONEY

  • Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
  • Where does 007 invest his money? In the bond market.
  • What did the comedian say when he walked into the bank? This is a standup.

DAD JOKES ABOUT MUSIC

  • What’s the best kind of music to listen to when fishing? Something catchy.
  • What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
  • What kind of music does a boulder like? Rock ‘n’ roll.
  • Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

DAD JOKES ABOUT BOOKS

  • What has a spine but no bones? A book.
  • What would happen if you threw all the books in the ocean? It would cause a title wave.
  • Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.

DAD JOKES ABOUT PARENTHOOD

  • “Today my son asked me, ‘Can I have a bookmark’? I burst into tears — he’s 12 years old and still doesn’t know my name!”
  • What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? “Bison!”
  • When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FATHER’S DAY

  • What did the baby computer say to its dad on Father’s Day? Happy Father’s Day, Data!
  • Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales? Because fathers are priceless.
  • Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day? Because they thought he was the coolest dad.

DAD JOKES ABOUT WORK

  • Why did the construction workers always bring a pencil to lunch? They wanted to draw their own conclusions!
  • Why did the sandwich get a promotion? Because he was the best thing since sliced bread.
  • Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off.
  • I used to work for the paper business. But then it folded.
  • I got fired from my job as a taxi driver. It turns out nobody thought I was fare.

DAD JOKES ABOUT HAIRCUTS

  • How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
  • “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”

DAD JOKES THAT PROVOKE A GOOD-NATURED EYE ROLL

  • I recently visited the “World’s Tiniest Wind Turbine” exhibit. Honestly, not a big fan.
  • How do you follow Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints.

DAD JOKES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

  • My wife found a spider in our house and told me to take it out, so I did. We had a few drinks, pretty nice guy.
  • My wife screamed, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?!” What a weird place to start a conversation.
  • My wife is mad I keep introducing her as my “ex-girlfriend”. So I went with “ex-fiancé” instead.
  • Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”
  • Why did Comic Sans divorce Times New Roman? He just wasn’t her type.

DAD JOKES ABOUT BEING OLD

  • What is a prize old people can win for aging? Atrophy.
  • Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me. My knees, my back, my neck…
  • Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

DAD JOKES ABOUT GETTING OLDER

  • How is the moon like dentures? Both come out at night.
  • What do you call someone who enjoys Mondays? Retired.
  • If you lose something in a senior care home, don’t stop looking until you’ve searched every nook and granny.
  • An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her. “So,” he says, “Do I come here often?”

DAD JOKES ABOUT BODY & MIND

  • Dad: Well, you know what they say, the memory is the second thing to go. Son: What’s the first? Dad: I forget.
  • Stop thinking of them as “hot flashes.” Think of them as your inner child playing with matches.
  • I told my doctor I could only hear buzzing. He said don’t worry, it’s just a bug going around.

DAD JOKES ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

  • What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Can’t elope.
  • Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.
  • Did you hear about the two florists who got married? It was an arranged marriage.
  • Two cannonballs got married this morning. I hear they’re already expecting BBs.
  • I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant, and the groom was glowing.

DAD JOKES ABOUT WEDDINGS

  • I went to a really emotional wedding last week, even the cake was in tiers.
  • My antenna married my neighbor’s antenna. The wedding was not so good as this one, but the reception was fantastic!

DAD JOKES ABOUT CANDLES

  • Do you know why I get heartburn when I eat birthday cake? I always forget to blow out the candles!
  • Why do people put birthday candles on top of a birthday cake? Because you can’t put them on the bottom, can you?!
  • What kind of candle burns longer than others? None, silly — they all burn shorter.
  • Why do candles love birthdays? They like to get lit.

DAD JOKES FOR BIRTHDAYS

  • What happens if no one turns up to your birthday party? You get to have you cake and eat it, too.
  • Why didn’t the teddy bear eat any of its birthday cake? Because it was already stuffed!
  • Why don’t kids remember their past birthday parties? They’re too focused on the present!
  • What type of party do you throw for a dog’s birthday? A ball.
  • What are you if you go to a ghost birthday party? The life of the party!

DAD JOKES ABOUT SPORTS

  • Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball? If he raises them both, he’d fall down.
  • Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from? The tooth fairy.
  • I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
  • What does a sprinter eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
  • Why don’t football players were glasses? It’s a contact sport.
  • Why couldn’t the baby score in basketball? He was always dribbling.
  • What’s the best animal in soccer? A score-pion.

DAD JOKES ABOUT ANIMALS

  • Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby? Because she was a little horse.
  • What do you say when a chicken is looking at salad? Chicken sees a salad.
  • What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
  • Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her.
  • What’s a dog’s favorite super hero? Labra-Thor.
  • What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
  • A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back. “I am a turtle,” he says. “Who’s on your back?” “That’s Michelle.”
  • Why aren’t dogs allowed in bars? Because they can’t control their licker.
  • What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

DAD JOKES FOR KIDS

  • What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  • I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
  • Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
  • I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels. She said, “Yes, try Sarah Topps.”
  • What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
  • What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  • Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
  • I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey…. but I turned myself around.

DAD JOKES ABOUT FOOD

  • Someone told me that it’s impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I said that’s not nececelery true.
  • My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Jack and the beans talk!
  • Where do fruits go on vacation? Pear-is!
  • What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where’s Pop Corn?
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  • I tried all morning to cook up an egg-related pun, but I couldn’t crack it.
  • How do you make an apple turnover? Push it downhill.

FUNNY DAD JOKES

  • What do you call a Frenchman who has been attacked by a cat? Claude.
  • My 6-year-old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill. Looks like she’s preparing some kind of barbie queue.
  • How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? Easy, one will see you later, the other will see you in a while.

SILLY DAD JOKES

  • What has five toes but isn’t your foot? My foot.
  • What looks like half a tree? The other half.
  • Two guys walked into a bar… the third one ducked.
  • Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they play golf? In case they get a hole in one.

WORST DAD JOKES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

  • Have you heard of the new sport called quiet tennis? It’s like normal tennis but without the racket.
  • Why did the god of thunder need to stretch his legs? He was a little Thor.
  • What’s the least spoken language? Sign language.
  • What building in your town has the most stories? The public library.
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I’m going to the beer store and I’m scared it will be closed.
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.

CRINGIEST DAD JOKES

  • Did you hear the joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tear-able.
  • What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  • What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh, sheet.
  • What was even more useful than the first telephone? The second telephone.
  • I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
  • Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

PUNNIEST DAD JOKES

  • Son: “Dad, can you please explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun.”
  • Why did the man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
  • I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to win. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
  • Where do you take someone who’s been in a peek-a-boo accident? The ICU.
  • Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? There was nothing left but debris.
  • How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

BEST DAD JOKES THAT ARE ACTUALLY (KIND OF) FUNNY

  • As I get older, I remember all of the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right choice.
  • Went to the bar tonight. Good times. Only a 15-minute walk. But the walk home took 45 minutes, the difference was staggering.
  • I recently took a pole. And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

RANDOM DAD JOKES

  • Why don’t skeletons get out of town during the Halloween season? They don’t have the guts!
  • Why was the math book upset? It had too many problems.
  • How do you put together a space party? You planet.
  • What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta
  • I wish I could tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
  • Why don’t airplanes ever get lost? Because they always wing it!
  • Why did the ghosts go to the party? It was all for the boos.
  • I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  • I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
  • Why did the bicycle go to bed so early? It was two-tired!
  • Why are scientists so skeptical of atoms? Because they make up everything!